M.U.
Surgery was Friday and everything went well. The Dr spoke to pathology right after and they said the lymph node biopsy appeared to be clear at that point. So that’s really good news! We should get the official results from that and the 2 moles from my back some time later this week.
I’m in a good amount of pain. The Vicodin I’m sure is helping but I wish it was helping out a little more than it is. Yesterday the Dr told me I should try to only take it at night and take Tylenol during the day. So we’re stocking up on Tylenol tonight and will try that tomorrow. Not sure how that will go….
Like I said. I went to the Dr’s yesterday. It was so he could change the dressings. He said everything looked beautiful and is healing perfectly. I beg to differ. I took a really quick glance at my leg and I really wish I hadn’t. It looks really disgusting. It’s a huge, gross, ugly hole. It made me sick to my stomach to see it and I feel sick just thinking about it. I don’t know exactly what I thought it would look like but it was a thousand times worse than anything I could have imagined. The Dr assured me the hole will fill in from the skin graft but it will still be somewhat indented. From what I saw yesterday, I can’t believe it will ever look even somewhat normal again. I may be wearing pants for the rest of my life. I’m pretty depressed about this right now. Victor says he doesn’t care what my leg or anything else looks like, he will love me forever no matter what, and I know that’s true. I’m just feeling really self conscious about this. Scars are one thing, I don’t care at all about having scars. But this is a huge, gaping hole right on the front of my shin. Ugh. But it could be worse, I guess. Sorry, but I had to get some of those feelings out…..
I go back to the Dr’s on Friday to have the dressings changed again and I will not be looking at my leg. I can promise you that. We may have results then. I’ll let you know.