Ventura Familia

I had the PET scan on Saturday. Mom, Julie, and Brittany came with me and it was really great to have their company! After a very anxious wait, the results were negative! So that means it doesn’t look like the cancer has spread!! The lymph nodes may or may not have shown up on the scan, which is why the sentinel node biopsy is still needed. That is set for Friday.

So on Friday I will go in for surgery. I will have general anesthesia – nervous about that, but I know I will be fine. Dr. Sigman will make the wide excision to remove more from my leg, do a skin graft from my thigh to cover it up, and remove 2 additional moles from my back that look suspicious. Hopefully those come back from the lab as normal, boring moles and not melanoma. We will see….

And Dr. Paulson will do the sentinel node biopsy. They will inject a nuclear medicine near where the melanoma was, which will go up my leg just as the cancer would if it spread. Then they inject a blue dye that follows the nuclear medicine up. Whatever nodes are blue, they take out. It may be one, a few, or all. Then they biopsy whatever was taken out. There may be none but if there is even a small amount of cancer cells found, I will be put on chemo of some sort. Ugh. The blue dye will make me look ashen and sick. The Dr said I will look a lot worse than I actually feel. And it will also make me pee blue! LOL!! That will be funny!!!

As far as the 2 moles on my back….if they do come back from the lab as melanoma, the next step will depend on their thickness. There is no lymph node associated with things on your back or torso so there would be no way to biopsy that to see if those have spread. If the melanoma was over 1 mm thick, as was my leg, they would start me on chemo and do a wider excision. If it is less than 1 mm thick, they may need to still do a wider excision but no drugs would be needed. If they are not melanoma then HOORAY!!

No matter what, once you have had melanoma, it is likely to come back. So I have to be crazy super careful with my skin. I will have to see a dermatologist at least twice a year and wear SPF 50 or higher every day for the rest of my life. I can not be in the sun for longer than 10 minutes without sunblock. And that doesn’t mean just on hot, sunny, summer days. There are always harmful rays that we need to be protected from, whether its sunny, cloudy, snowing, or raining. SPF 50 every day.

I’m nervous about surgery on Friday but I know it will be fine and over before I know it. They aren’t sure yet if they are keeping me overnight. I really hope not. I can’t be away from Lauren and Victor for that long!! I don’t know what I’ll do! But Tanya made me a brag book….it is so cute!! I will fill it with pictures and bring it with me. That will help a lot!

I’m also nervous about going to Florida in October. I’m very excited to go and I know I will have a lot of fun but I am soooo scared of the sun now. For both me and for Lauren. We haven’t been outside very much at all since the diagnosis. I know that with the right protection we are okay but it just scares me. Everyone keeps asking me if I am/was a tanner, if I am/was always in the sun…and the answer is no. I remember getting a few sunburns growing up and I have gone in tanning beds before, but not a lot at all. I don’t like being hot and I don’t like the beach. I’ve always tried to stay out of the sun as much as possible. It scares me that I have been in the sun so little and I still got melanoma. The oncologist said he could take my picture and put it next to the definition of high risk for melanoma. Light hair, light eyes, fair skin. He said I am the poster child for melanoma. And unfortunately, Lauren is just like me. So please do not call me a freak for asking if you have sunblock on or for reapplying it to Lauren and myself every hour. I am going to be as careful as I possibly can. I do not want Lauren, or anyone else, to have to go through this. This has been a terrible experience.

Thank you to everyone for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers. They are working!! When I first got this horrible news, I thought there was no way there could be a God. It was the first thing I said to Victor when I told him the news. If there was a God, why would He do this to me? Having diabetes isn’t enough?? But after hearing how many people have been thinking of me and praying for me and to get such good news about the PET scan, I do believe in God and He is good. He gave me my amazing family. He blessed me with a loving husband and a beautiful baby girl. He is there, listening to our prayers, making us stronger. I do not know why I was chosen to have so many things wrong with me, but it will make me a stronger person. I will not take anything for granted. I will love with all of my heart and learn from everything and everyone. I have so much in my life to be thankful for, and I really am.

On that note, I want to take a second to thank my Mom. She is amazing. She has come to every appointment with me and has really helped me through this. She worries a lot and I know this has been really hard on her. But she has been very optimistic and also realistic at the same time, which is what I need. She really has been my rock through all of this and I love her so much. She is such a good person with a huge heart. She would do anything and everything for her kids, or anyone really. She truly is the nicest person I know. Thank you Mom. I love you!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 17th, 2010 at 11:09 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.