News
So a little over a year ago, something showed up on my left shin. It looked a little bit like a mole. My doctor said I probably bumped it or got a bug bite, it would always be there, it was nothing and not to worry about it. It got a little bigger and because of where it was, I was a little self-conscious about it and asked if I could have it removed. My doctor referred me to a plastic surgeon. He agreed with what my doctor had said, removed it, but said the size and color were a little off, so he sent it to the lab to be safe.
Well, turns out it wasn’t nothing, it’s melanoma. I have to have more removed from my leg and because it will be so much, I’ll have to get a skin graft from my thigh. I’ll also have a lymph gland biopsy done to see if the cancer has spread. The surgeons are working on getting their schedules and the OR available so I’m not sure exactly when that will be happening. Hopefully soon. I’m sick of being anxious. I just want to know the results, whether good or bad. If it has not spread, then I’m pretty much in the clear. I’ll just have to be extra careful in the sun and be checked by a dermatologist a few times a year as it’s likely for melanoma to show up again after you’ve had it before. If it has spread, then who knows? Surgery, chemo, radiation? I don’t even want to think about any of that unless I have to.
I’m meeting with an oncologist next week, on Friday the 13th, just my luck. I have a lot of questions for him and hopefully he can ease my anxiety some, or maybe not. My biggest fear right now is that this could have somehow affected Lauren since I had this melanoma while pregnant. Either way it affects her because now she is predisposed to melanoma and has a much higher chance of getting it some day. Ugh. Scary.
I’ve always said cancer is so scary and I think it may one day completely wipe out the human race. But you can’t even believe how scary it is to actually be diagnosed with it. I was home alone, just Lauren and I, when the doctor called with the results. That was pretty bad. I was crying and Lauren looked at me and smiled. It melted my heart. She brings me so much love and joy and to think I may not be able to be here with her much longer…..scares the absolute shit out of me. But that’s not going to happen. Everything will be ok, it has to be. I am trying to stay positive. I have a ton of support from family and friends, thank God for that.
I promise to update the blog with any news I get. And I may start using this more as a journal of sorts….shouldn’t keep all these feelings and thoughts bottled up inside.
Please know that I love all of you so much. Don’t take any second of any day for granted. And do not go tanning. 
Here are a few quotes that I really love right now and are helping me get through this….
The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. ~Terri Guillemets
When the world pushes you to your knees, you are in a perfect position to pray. ~Anonymous
Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
=( So scary, I pray you get some good news!
I love you so much and hate that you are going through this. I will be here for you for anything you need from me and will help you through it all. I will stand by you the whole time! Please don’t ever forget how much you mean to me.
That last message was from me, not Rachel. You were on my mind as you always are. More now than ever. I love you so much!
Praying hard that it has not spread! I am here either way! I almost posted that Christopher Robin quote yesterday. I think I’ll post it now actually
Love you!
I will keep you in my heart….as for the 13th…..you’ll make it a lucky one! Please let me know if we can do anything!! LOVE YOU!
praying for you & your beautiful family. stay strong
You have become such an amazing woman, wife and mother in the ten years I have been a part of your family. I am thankful to have a little sister in my life. You are loved more than you can imagine. As scary as this is for you and those who love you, we will be here to support you. If there is anything you can guarantee with this family is that they know how to get through lives challenges better than most. I love you Rachel. Thank you for sharing the scariest parts of life with us. We’ll be reading your journey and praying this is behind you soon.
I know that this is scary..and I know that you are worried. But I also know in my heart that you will have a positive outcome and you will be fine. I believe this with every fiber of my being. You are healthy, you are strong in mind and body. This will not put you down…..Dave, Brandon and I love you very much!!! And this family will not allow anything other than a happy, healty Rachel!!! ANYTHING I can do for you, just ask.
Dear Rachel,
I am so proud of the beautiful woman you have become, you’re such a loving daughter, wife, mother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, niece, cousin and friend. You are so smart, so strong and so brave, and because you have taken such good care of yourself throughout your pregnancy and controlling your diabetes, you have been very healthy. You will get through this and I will be with you every step of the way. 13 should be our lucky number, Lauren makes 13 of us!! Rachel, you light up my life and I love you so much.
Mom